Alice Heinzen
What does it look like when people leave the Church? Like this…
I recognized the family sitting in the booth across the restaurant from me. They’re members of our parish and usually sit a few pews behind our family. But, as far as I remembered, I hadn’t seen them for a couple of months.
One of the kids waved at me and I returned the gesture. (He and I became buddies during a parish based event earlier in the year.) He was the youngest of the family following two siblings who were now in high school. I had worked with the older kids also; well-mannered students, though they seemed to lack a joy for the Catholic faith.
I took the wave as an opportunity to stop by and greet them. When I walked up to the table, the parents looked a bit embarrassed. We exchanged pleasantries and shared our views about the current school year. My parting comment was, “Gosh, it’s good to see you again. Hope to see you soon at Mass.”
The mother looked up at me and said, “We no longer go to church at the parish. We’ve decided to check out other places or ways to worship.”
I paused (awkwardly) and then said, “I’m sorry to hear that. Did something happen that caused you to leave?”
The mother cast a look at the older two children as if to say you tell her why we aren’t going to a Catholic Church anymore. Finally one of them spoke up, “We convinced Mom and Dad that God may not be as important as they think he is. I mean, some people believe in him, but most don’t anymore.”
The mother quickly added, “The kids have been questioning the Catholic faith for a while. We didn’t want to fight with them anymore so we’ve decided to take a break for a while.”
I held my thoughts because this wasn’t the time or place to address the situation. I reiterated that I would miss them at Mass and asked if I could call them to hear the rest of their story. Their response was a cool if you need to.
Young people especially leave because God isn’t relevant to them.
I left the restaurant with a very heavy heart and many burning observations. Why wasn’t God important to them anymore? Why didn’t the parents stay in the fight and help their kids see value in the Catholic faith? And what did this family hope to gain by taking a break?
Sadly, this family could be featured on a poster for those leaving the Catholic faith. According to recent national studies youth and young adults are disassociating with the Catholic faith for a variety of reasons: they can’t prove that God exists; parents won’t impose their beliefs on their children; the Catholic faith isn’t as appealing as other denominations. (I’m providing three top reasons—but trust me, there are more…)
This is not good news. Everyone from the Pope to the local pastor winces knowing that the average age for disengagement is 13. When one researcher learned of this statistic he said that three decades ago the Church was concerned that children would not have faith. Today, she is concerned that the Catholic faith will not have children.
So how can we help them see the value of religion and God?
I know this looks bleak and almost insurmountable. But is it not. We can tackle this trend and retard its progress—especially if we take advantage of two solid initiatives that come from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Both are worthy of your review and attention.
- Check out the proceedings from a convocation held this past July entitled the Joy of the Gospel in America. Watch the videos. Download the resources. Invite your parish leadership to get the guide book and study it.
- Secondly, take the time to learn about the robust campaign called Living as Missionary Disciples that provides clear and practical initiatives for parish adoption. Read the booklet online or order it and then share it with other concerned Catholics at your parish.
Don’t walk away from these initiatives. Schedule time this week to dig into these resources. It’s not too late to reverse this trend and pass on the faith to our young people.
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