SAYING GOODBYE

Saying goodbye is always hard. And if you are someone like me who is easily attached to people, it’s harder. There are some who hate saying goodbye. Someone once said that life is all about hellos and goodbyes. The songs you listen to on the radio seem to have “goodbye” as a common theme. Jesus in the Gospel today is aware of what His farewell will mean to His disciples. They will grieve.

Grief is a natural human reaction to parting. When there is a certain level of intimacy, support and strength, among other qualities, in a relationship, it becomes almost impossible to part with the loved one. Time is often the greatest healer when dealing with the death of a loved one.

Dealing with grief can be a process. Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross says there are five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Her studies on death and dying have inspired her to conclude that grief is a process we have to deal with. Grief can refer to any “loss experience” — death of a loved one, separation, loss of a job, illness, or anything that causes a sense of loss. Once we are able to identify these stages based on what we are going through, grief becomes a little easier to deal with and not so overwhelming.

The disciples must have experienced these stages, too. Their Master, the One whom they loved, was going to die. They were at a loss as to what would happen to them. How would they cope? We could imagine the disciples grappling with the forthcoming absence of Jesus in their hearts. That is why Jesus emphasizes the role of the Advocate: He will be with them always.

And, as Jesus promised, the silent presence of the Advocate remains among us, today and for always. Fr. Brian Steele, MGL


REFLECTION QUESTIONS: How do you respond to grief? Do you see the five stages at work in your life as you go through your grief?

Lord, You keep me safe and defend me. Come to me in my hour of need. May Your Holy Spirit comfort me. Amen.

St. Rose Venerini, pray for us.